18 Election Campaign Fails So Far

Matthew Hancock is learning to fold.

Look at the priceless look on his face. He just looks so happy, doesn’t he? He must be so proud to be part of the University of Phoenix. Not that we know whether he does have them, we just think it’s pretty goofy that he has a wide ass grin on his face while the leaflet he’s on is folded in a manner that just makes you wonder what kind of propaganda he’s actually trying to push for.

In the political race, people will have to promote themselves in the best ways possible in order to get attention, put up a political platform that will give them an edge over the competition and win the hearts of the masses. However, in this case, though he says he worked hard, we certainly don’t think he means it the way he said it. With the leaflet folded like that, he’s probably trying to work something else into getting hard.

Look, he even says that people are free to get in touch with him. Get it? Get “In Touch?” Dude, your leaflet spells out “cock.” Why would we even think about doing that. Surely, you don’t want us to take that literally.

Oh look, the general election is on May 7th. We’re not even sure that the leaflet actually means election either. Just the way the leaflet is folded gives us an idea that the “L” is supposed to be an “R.” Yeah, we just had to go there, didn’t we? Time to make a stand. No, we didn’t mean it like that. Oh, never mind.

Time to rethink this whole triple-lock thing, Lib Dems.

For political candidates, the campaign they are going for needs to be highly convincing in order to pull more voters in to their cause. It is with the support of the masses that they would be able to stand a chance against all the other politicians also running for the same position they are. We understand that it can prove to be a rather tough time, trying to beat out the rest of the competition. At the same time, you would still need to bring your A-game every single time. That even means coming up with really good campaign material.

However, in this case, we cannot comprehend how this would ever work. If you did not know, a triple lock provides growth to your state pension, thereby allowing you purchase goods in the same amount as the previous year. Now, in theory, that sounds really beneficial. However, it is also a pretty expensive endeavor. Guaranteeing such will cost a lot of money, right around £45 billion for the next fifteen years. Let’s not forget the huge bill that has already been paid out for benefits to pensioners. Simply put, there is absolutely no way that Lib Dems can even afford this guarantee.

If you want a really good campaign, don’t go with this. The University of Phoenix and all its Political Science graduates could help you candidates out on this matter. Just stay away from bad ideas that may not even last to the end of the year.

Then there’s UKIP, who need to go back to the policy drawing board.

Okay, we just had to pause for a minute or two here to truly get what this leaflet is saying. It’s one thing to look at it at face value and say “yay, let’s do it!” After all, political platforms, when left unexplained, can certainly sound pretty good, especially if the person presenting it is as charismatic as one can ever hope to be. Yet, reading the last two bullet points and trying to make sense out of them is just… Well, let’s just say it’s all full of hot air, shall we?

However, we just feel that it’s all a bad case of irony. Guys, there ain’t no way a supposedly high profile member of the University of Phoenix can even save this platform from ever making any sense. First of all, you’re trying to put a stop to massive wind farms. In contrast to the last point made, isn’t that practically sustainable energy at its finest? You’re making use of natural resources out there.

What, are you too much of a cheapskate to ever have these built again, not even realizing the good that they can do for people? It’s probably the kind of sustainable energy that will never run out at all. Whichever political candidate came up with this idea must really be full of himself if he thinks this is a good idea. Maybe you’re looking into coal mining instead? If that’s the case, that’s a lot of votes that you won’t have by the time your campaign comes to a head.

This Lib Dem bar graph has no sense of proportion.

You know, when you think of prestigious educational institutions like the University of Phoenix or some other high end college, you’d think that people would have a good grip on their fields of expertise. These people have been studying for a good number of years in order to provide accurate and detailed statistical information for everyone in the campus to be informed with. A lot of it actually is derived from research and gathered data. As we said, there’s absolutely nothing that could go wrong then, right?

One look at this, and the mathematical obsessive compulsive in you would probably go on a fit of rage. Whoever came up with this graph certainly has no common sense when it comes to mathematical equations. Whatever happened to the remaining 6 percent? Are they not included in the entire research? Are they supposed to be “other parties” or something? Adding all those percentages up in the graph does not total to a hundred percent, okay? Whatever drugs these guys were smoking when they were coming up with the findings, we would sure like to stay away from those, most especially if they impair our natural ability to count.

Congratulations to the creator of this graph, though. Had it not been for this massive blunder of a graph, you probably would not be getting a lot of follows already on social media. If you are this bad with numbers, we would hate to think what other fails you will be coming up with when it comes to finances.

And sometimes the placeholder text makes more sense than the political slogans.

There’s that time the Lib Dems subconsciously became another coalition: THE LAB DEMS!